“And they lived happily ever after.”
Here’s the problem: I don’t see that as a goal.
What is “happily ever after,” anyway? That you live in this state of extended bliss until the embrace of death takes you away? If you have a lover, doesn’t that imply you both have to die at the same time so that neither can experience the grief of the other’s passing? Now that’s a story I want to read: The story of Price Charming after Cinderella dies from tuberculosis a few years later.
As I’m wont to do on these prompts, I’ll change it to “being fulfilled,” and I don’t feel that way. That’s all you’re getting for now.
I’m not really as miserable as I sometimes come off. I don’t sit around wearing black eyeliner listening to Evanescence every night, wondering which knife I should use to cut myself with. That dichotomy probably presents the biggest wrench thrown into the mix of the original “happy” prompt. You start to see the range of human experience, expectations, and emotions.
Am I fulfilled? No.
Am I happy? No.
Am I miserable? No.
So what am I?
I’m somewhere in between. As we were taught by the great poet Celine Dion, there are moments of gold and there are flashes of light. And it’s my goal to continue making changes in my life to maximize both the number of flashes and troy ounces of moments.
Will I ever be fulfilled? Hopefully yes, at which point I’ll reset goals and pursue something higher. And if you ask me, that’s better than being happy.